You Know What’s Wrong, But You Still Feel Stuck? This Could Be Why

In a world that never seems to slow down, many high-achievers struggle with a unique dilemma. They have a strong awareness of their emotional state, yet they often find themselves stuck, unable to take action. As a therapist that works with this group regularly, I often hear the terms like "I know that if I could just get over.... I would stop feeling so anxious and overwhelmed about it, but I just don't know how to change how I feel and I cant help but react like...". This sense of being trapped is not just a feeling; it can lead to real, deep rooted issues in both personal and professional areas of life.

The conflict often manifests as a battle between what can be termed the Adult Self and the Child Self. The Adult Self represents the rational thinker, constantly assessing problems and looking for solutions. On the flip side, the Child Self holds our emotions, instinctual reactions, and fears, often struggling to adapt to change.

Understanding this interplay is immensely beneficial for emotional healing and personal growth.

The Struggle of Awareness

Many high-achievers can identify emotional issues that need addressing, but knowing about a problem does not automatically lead to knowing how to fix it. This disconnect often results in feelings of shame, exhaustion and frustration with ourselves.

Reframing Unhelpful Thoughts

When faced with emotional struggles, it often feels unavoidable to spiral into negative thoughts. Common phrases like, “Why can’t I just get over it?” create a heavy burden of self-judgment and reinforce the conflict between the Adult and Child Selves.

Instead, we could consider asking ourselves:

• “What do I need in this moment to feel more secure?”

• “Which past experiences are making this situation feel threatening?”

  
  

Alternative questions like this can shift us from self-blaming (which can be unhelpful when feeling stuck) and open our minds to a more curious exploration of our feelings that can ultimately need to the self-awareness we need as a tool to overcome the emotional challenges that come with change.

Understanding Your Child Self and Building a Safety Net for Change

The Child Self plays a pivotal role in how we react to emotional challenges. This part of us can feel fragile, often becoming overwhelmed during transitions.

Understanding and nurturing this aspect will pave the way for effective emotional healing. Establishing a compassionate internal dialogue allows the Adult Self to lead while also caring for the vulnerable Child Self.

Actionable Steps to Transform Awareness into Change

Taking concrete steps is essential to turn emotional awareness into action. Here are effective ways to advance this process:

1. Set Intentional Goals: Break down your larger objectives into smaller, achievable tasks. This makes it easier for your Adult Self to operate without overwhelming your Child Self.

   
   

2. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate each step forward, regardless of its size. Studies indicate that recognising even minor accomplishments triggers dopamine release, enhancing confidence, resilience, and overall well-being. This establishes a positive feedback loop, making challenging tasks feel rewarding and helping you stay focused on long-term objectives.

   
   

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Embrace your Child Self’s vulnerabilities with kindness. Understanding that it is normal to feel scared or uncertain can create a healthier internal environment that feels safe enough to evolve.

   
   

Creating a New Inner Dialogue

The way we communicate with ourselves shapes our emotional journey. Here are phrases to consider:

• “I see that this is tough, but I am learning and growing.”

• “I will take this at my own pace, and that is perfectly okay.”

  
  

This gentle tone creates a more supportive relationship between the Adult and Child Selves, making emotional paths smoother and creates a safety within us that can lean more comfortably into change.